Every strength a shadow
Every strength a shadow
Paul issues a warning aimed precisely at the confident. Let the one who thinks he stands, he says, take heed lest he fall. The danger is not greatest where we feel weak and watchful; it is greatest where we feel strong and secure, in the very area we are sure we have mastered. Our strengths cast the longest shadows.
Every pathway carries its own characteristic shadow, hidden inside its strength. The naturalist can worship creation instead of the Creator. The sensate can mistake the stir of beauty for the touch of God. The activist can make the cause an idol; the caregiver can serve until empty and bitter; the contemplative can drift into navel-gazing; the intellectual can love ideas more than God; the enthusiast can chase a feeling; the traditionalist can keep dead forms; the ascetic can grow proud and aloof. The very thing that opens the door can, untended, become the thing that closes it.
This is why self-knowledge matters as much as pathway-knowledge. To know your strength without knowing its shadow is to walk confidently toward your own particular cliff. The wise soul learns not only the road by which it draws near to God, but the precise way that road tempts it to wander — and keeps watch there, where it feels least need to.
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands be careful that he doesn't fall.”
— Paul, to the Corinthians — 1 Corinthians 10:12 (WEB)
Learn the shadow hidden inside your strength — the way your own pathway tempts you to wander — and keep watch there, where you feel least need to.
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life.”
We guard our weaknesses and leave our strengths unwatched, which is backwards, since the danger is greatest where we feel most secure. The interior work is to know your pathway's characteristic shadow as well as its gift — that the very thing which opens the door can, untended, close it — and to keep diligent watch over your heart precisely at the point of your confidence.
This week, name the specific shadow of your dominant pathway — its characteristic temptation — and set a guard there: a question you ask yourself, an honest friend who can check you, a deliberate watchfulness where you usually feel no need.
The enemy attacks where you feel strongest and least watchful, hiding a shadow inside your favorite gift so you stride confidently toward your own cliff. But the strength and the shadow are the same thing, tended or untended — and a soul that watches its gift as closely as its weakness leaves no overconfident blind spot to exploit.
We instinctively guard the areas where we feel weak and leave unguarded the areas where we feel strong — which is exactly backwards, because the enemy attacks where we are overconfident and unwatchful. Your spiritual pathway, the place you are surest of yourself, is therefore the place most likely to hide a shadow you have never thought to watch.
The strength and the shadow are not two different things; they are the same thing, tended or untended. The discipline is to know your characteristic temptation as well as you know your gift, and to keep watch precisely where you feel you need it least. Self-knowledge is the guardrail on the cliff edge of your strength. What is the shadow side of the way you love God best — and are you watching it, or assuming you stand?
- Do I guard my weaknesses but leave my strengths unwatched?
- What is the shadow side of the way I love God best?
- Where am I assuming I stand, exactly where I should take heed?
Lord, I guard where I feel weak and leave my strengths unwatched, walking confident toward my own cliff. Show me the shadow inside my pathway. Help me keep my heart with all diligence, watching most where I feel I need it least. Amen.