Forgive as you were forgiven
Paul on the source of forgiveness
Paul roots forgiveness in something already received: bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if anyone has a complaint against another — as the Lord forgave you, so you also must forgive. The standard and the power both come from the same source. You forgive others not by working up generosity from nothing, but by passing on what you have already been given.
This reframes the grudge. When a leader refuses to forgive — nursing the offense, holding the debt — he is acting as though he himself had never been forgiven much. But the one who knows how much he has been forgiven holds others' offenses more loosely. Forgiveness flows downhill from grace received. The unforgiving leader has, in some sense, forgotten his own debt. The forgiving one remembers it, and extends to others the very mercy that was first extended to him.
“If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
— Jesus, on forgiving others — Matthew 6:14 (WEB)
You forgive others by passing on what you have already received. The unforgiving leader has, in effect, forgotten his own debt; the forgiving one remembers it.
“bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.”
Paul roots forgiveness in grace already received, not generosity summoned from nothing. A leader formed here holds others’ offenses loosely because he remembers how much he was forgiven. The inner work is keeping his own debt in view.
Extend to others the mercy you have received, rather than nursing grudges. Let remembered grace soften how you hold offenses. Forgive as a leader who knows his own debt was vast.
Leaders hold others’ debts tightly while forgetting their own. The blind spot is unforgiveness that quietly assumes one has not been forgiven much.
Name one person you are refusing to forgive. This week, remembering your own forgiveness, take a step to release the debt.
When a leader nurses an offense and refuses to forgive, he acts as though he himself had never been forgiven much. Forgiveness flows downhill from grace received.
Whom are you refusing to forgive, as though you had not been forgiven much yourself?