Keep the confidence
Wisdom on the trustworthy spirit
The proverb draws a clean line between two kinds of people: a gossip betrays a confidence, but a person of trustworthy spirit keeps a secret. The talebearer spreads what should have stayed private; the trustworthy person can be told something and be relied upon to hold it. For a leader, who is entrusted with countless confidences, this is foundational.
People bring leaders sensitive things — struggles, failures, fears, conflicts. What a leader does with that information determines whether he is safe to trust. The leader who carries tales, who lets slip what was told in confidence, who trades private information for connection or advantage, quietly destroys the trust his whole role depends on. The trustworthy leader becomes a safe place; people know that what they tell him stays with him. Worse still is the leader who slanders the very people he leads behind their backs. Guard the confidences entrusted to you as if your leadership depended on it — because it does.
“He who doesn't slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his friend, nor casts slurs against his fellow man.”
— David, of who may dwell with God — Psalm 15:3 (WEB)
What a leader does with confidences determines whether he is safe to trust. The trustworthy leader becomes a safe place; the talebearer destroys the trust his role depends on.
“One who brings gossip betrays a confidence, but one who is of a trustworthy spirit is one who keeps a secret.”
The proverb contrasts the gossip with the trustworthy spirit. A leader formed here guards what is told him in confidence and refuses to trade in others’ private matters. The inner work is becoming genuinely safe to confide in.
Keep confidences as if your leadership depended on it. Never trade private information for connection or advantage, and never slander those you lead behind their backs. Be a safe place people can confide in.
Leaders let confidences slip or use them for connection, eroding trust without noticing. The blind spot is treating others’ private matters as currency rather than a sacred trust.
Examine whether you have leaked any confidence lately, even casually. This week, recommit to keeping what people tell you, and stop one leak.
People bring leaders their struggles, failures, and fears. The leader who lets confidences slip — or worse, slanders his own people behind their backs — destroys the trust his role depends on.
Are you a safe place for what people tell you, or do their confidences leak?