Spend and be spent
Paul pours himself out for Corinth
The Corinthians had wounded Paul — questioned his authority, preferred flashier leaders, taken his labor for granted. And still he writes: I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less? He will pour out his resources and his very self for people who do not fully appreciate it — and not grudgingly, but gladly.
Spend and be spent is the language of total expenditure: not giving merely from the surplus, but being used up, like a candle that gives light by consuming itself. And Paul's wry question about being loved less names the hardest part of shepherding — loving people who will not love you back in equal measure, pouring into those who take it for granted. The mark of a true shepherd is that he keeps spending himself anyway, gladly, because his giving is not a transaction. He is not buying their affection; he is loving their souls.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
— Jesus, the Good Shepherd — John 10:11 (WEB)
Shepherding pours itself out for people gladly, even when love is not returned in kind. The shepherd spends himself to love souls, not to buy affection.
“I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more abundantly, am I loved the less?”
Paul kept spending himself for people who undervalued him, and did it gladly. A leader formed here gives without making it a transaction, free of the need to be repaid in love. The inner work is loving souls more than being appreciated.
Pour yourself out for your people without keeping score of the return. Expect to love some who will not love you back equally, and serve them gladly anyway. Spend yourself for souls, not for applause or reciprocity.
Leaders quietly meter their giving to the appreciation they receive. The blind spot is making love a transaction, so care dries up where it is not repaid.
Identify someone you serve who rarely appreciates it. This week, spend yourself for them gladly, without expecting anything back.
Shepherding often means loving people who will not love you back in equal measure — pouring into those who take it for granted. Paul did it gladly anyway, because his giving was not a transaction.
Are you willing to spend and be spent for people who may never fully appreciate it — and to do it gladly?