Hear the other side
Solomon and the two mothers
Two women came to Solomon, each claiming the same living child. The first told a convincing, detailed story. Had Solomon ruled on that alone, he might have decided wrongly. Instead he devised a test that revealed the true mother's heart, and judged rightly.
Proverbs names the principle every leader must internalize: the one who states his case first seems right, until another comes and examines him. The first version of any story — any complaint, any report, any side of a conflict — almost always sounds convincing. Wisdom suspends judgment until it has heard and examined the other side.
“The one who pleads his cause first seems right, until another comes and questions him.”
— The Proverbs — Proverbs 18:17 (WEB)
The first story always sounds convincing. Suspend judgment until you've heard the other side and examined it.
“The judges shall make diligent inquiry.”
Solomon refused to rule on a single convincing account and tested for the truth. A leader formed here suspends judgment until he has heard all sides. He distrusts how persuasive the first version always sounds. The inner work is patience to inquire before concluding.
Hear all sides and make diligent inquiry before judging a conflict or complaint. Resist deciding on the first, convincing account. Build a culture where people know judgment waits for the other side. Treat one-sided persuasiveness as no evidence of truth.
Leaders decide on the first version they hear because it sounds convincing, and are easily manipulated. The blind spot is mistaking a persuasive one-sided account for the truth.
Identify one judgment you've formed on a single side of a story. This week, deliberately hear and examine the other side before you conclude.
The first person to tell you their side of a story almost always sounds right — that is simply how one-sided accounts work. Leaders who decide on the first version they hear are constantly manipulated; the wise suspend judgment until they have heard and examined the other side.
Where have you formed a judgment based on only one side of the story — and have you actually heard and examined the other?