Draw out the heart
The wisdom of good questions
Proverbs offers a picture of one of leadership's most underused skills: counsel in the heart of a person is like deep water, but a person of understanding will draw it out. People carry wisdom, concerns, and insight below the surface — and the discerning leader knows how to bring it up.
Jesus, the wisest teacher, constantly led with questions: who do you say that I am? He drew out of people what they already half-knew. The best counsel a leader gets is often not what he tells others, but what he helps them surface through good questions and patient listening.
“Who do you say that I am?”
— Jesus, to his disciples — Matthew 16:15 (WEB)
Draw out the wisdom in people through good questions. A leader's best counsel often comes from what he helps others surface.
“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Proverbs and Jesus both prize drawing out what lies deep in people. A leader formed here listens and asks rather than always telling. He values the wisdom others carry below the surface. The inner work is the patience and curiosity to draw the heart out.
Lead with good questions, drawing out the wisdom and concerns your people carry. Resist always supplying your own answers; surface theirs. Create space and safety for people to voice what lies deep. Treat questions as a primary leadership tool, not a sign of not knowing.
Leaders default to telling and directing, missing the deep water of wisdom in their people. The blind spot is supplying answers instead of drawing out the better ones already present.
In one conversation this week, resist giving your answer first. Ask good questions and draw out the other person's wisdom and concerns before you speak.
Leaders default to telling — giving answers, issuing directives, supplying their own insight. But the people around you carry deep water: wisdom and concerns they may not even know how to voice. The discerning leader draws it out with good questions instead of always supplying his own answers.
Do you mostly tell people what you think, or do you draw out the wisdom and concerns already in them through good questions?